Monday, November 18, 2013

The Couch Potato

The Couch Potato
An Addendum

The usual potato is planted into the ground, and given a delicious dose of fertilizer and water. They grow only in Idaho, and gradually turn into an oblong mass of carbohydrate.  They ripen in the sun to turn a golden brown color.

A couch potato is a different species of potato, and they come from a fertilized egg from the human female.  As a youngster, they cry, make pee-pee, poop and cause many sleepless nights all around the globe, even in Seattle.  After a while, they crawl, fall, and bawl.  As they age, they eventually learn how to balance on two legs, like little gorillas.  When they patrol their home they come upon a bed-like object called a couch.  The couch in most homes is within easy viewing distance of the television set.  Using their youth, strength, and growing legs, they perch themselves on the couch where they spend almost all of their life.  

The diet of the couch potato resembles that of their cousins as it is an offshoot of fertilizer called, trash.  It consists of sugar, sugar products, high fructose corn syrup, pastry, cake, cookies, etc., etc.  With the TV turned on they lay flat on the couch and stuff themselves with trash.  What little muscle they had before "couching", it atrophies, and their little hands can no longer hold their cell phones.  Soon, with little movement and a lot of trash, they "round out" and roll off the couch.  Eventually, they are involved with some chronic potato disease and succumb to it. 

The moral of the story is that you do not want to live like a couch potato, so get off your butt and move around.  Try good food and you'll live a happy, healthy life so  you can get to the gym more often!